#ALONETOGETHER“This was the first one I worked on. The hashtag is something that’s used by the airline industry and the CDC. The symbolism behind being shoved into a suitcase has to do with the human trafficking nd a sense of being suffocated in quarantine. That sense of vulnerability. It’s the last resort: shove yourself into a suitecase and go to the airport where nobody is. But now that cannot be real. Travel has become frightening and staying at home, the same.”

SWIMWEAR SALE!“This was my take on the whole mask conversation. ‘Use them this way,’ they tell us, ‘use them that way.’ Hey, what the hell — make a bikini out of the mask! Even the big fashion brands, everyone is making masks, and many businesses have shifted to survive by making PPE. Pre-COVID, Personal Protective Equipment was protecting your private parts. Our private parts are now our face, our mouth. I view masks as underwear. If it is not clean, time to wash or toss.”

WAITLIST: INDEFINITELY“I’ve ordered a lot from Amazon over COVID, and will probably continue to, but the main frustration about Amazon is their delivery system. I remember ordering the N95 masks — 3 months to get them! And I ordered more and they sent only two. Sure, online shopping is ‘safe-at-home’ but how do I sanitize all these boxes and plastic and all of that? The logos on the boxes are frowns because of what it’s doing to businesses and how reliant we are on it. Love it or hate it — maybe this is our new norm?”

BAG O' SHIT “Ah, the hoarding and the fighting. You go to the aisles that are empty and you go to the aisles that are full. And your grocery shopping is shoving shit into a bag, during a pandemic, then getting out of the store before you catch your death. The things you actually need to clean, those aisles are empty.”

THE NEWS“Conspiracy theories are the News Normal. ‘Extra! Extra! All of California Under Lockdown!’ Well, that might be real, but you still find yourself getting into a dark space. You find yourself in this dark kind of room, when you’re looking at your phone and you’re reading all this information. The Fake News, the Real News, the conspiracy theories — it’s that overwhelming feeling. What else do you do besides Netflix? Clean, try to do some work, and also get (mis)informed.”

STRONG“Powerful. Tremendous. Very Good. Hydroxychloroquine — Breakfast of Champions. The President shouldn’t prescribe drugs. There are morons listening to the man, doing what he says three times a day. The POTUS is not a doctor and shouldn’t be prescribing things for people to put into their bodies and then taking it away from people who need it. The bruises are about the overwhelming feeling of being beat up by this race to a vaccine.”

MRS.CLEAN“Mr. Clean, this is our American symbol, our icon. And now, the cleaning mania! We have to clean all the time, the high-touch surfaces, constantly sanitizing your hands. and you get manic when you’re cleaning. The top copy was an actual controversial ad by Mr. Clean that was criticized for sexism: women—we are domesticated. The American idol is Mr. Clean but it’s really a ‘woman’s job,’ so call the Missus. What’s the magic eraser really gonna do? Erase this waking nightmare?”

TAKE TRUMP OUT“A takeout box becomes a facemask. Everyone was scared of ordering Chinese food because Trump started calling COVID ‘the China Virus.’ But what if we take HIM out of his position? Chinese food in the US is all made here, it’s American food. It’s not ok to label SARS-COV-2 the China Virus.”

STIMULUS CHECK “What is that gonna do for us? It feels like a dead end. It’s $1200 but we still have 1200 problems, and we can’t even get through to get unemployment. ‘Call us on Monday’ And the website is not working, and people are not responding on the phone. And the Treasury is printing money, devaluing the dollar. Everyone’s trying to hustle here, but we all feel the economical hit. Brother, can you spare a better strategy if there is one?”

I CAN'T BREATHE“The protesting also put into evidence a new generational gap. We're seeing a lot of younger folks join a movement. Literally a hairstylist in order to cut my hair has to put in 1200 hours in order to get their certificate to cut hair. Police, 600. Half of that. There’s too much to say on that. If that person can’t breathe, then I can’t either. There is no excuse not to do better. ”

IT'S THE COVID ISSUE!“Everybody’s making bread? We’ve been living in trash bags and sweatpants. We have caution tape around us as we walk in public. This is the new trend whether you like it or not. There’s no one to dress up for. Does your Gucci sweater matter? Nobody’s seeing it, babe. Most people don't have that spending power. When was the last time you actually dressed up? 90% of my closet hasn’t been touched, and I haven't touched or been touched by many people. I don’t have anyone to impress.”

ZOOM AWAY INTO BLISS“This idea was the first one that sparked me thinking about all this. Everyone started Zooming, and the first Zoom background we learned about is the beach. So we Zoomed away into bliss, connectivity and safety. As much as alcohol sales have boosted through the roof, Corona the beer did take a hit because of it and people are scared of beer just because of name association. If the virus was called Catherine would they be afraid of me? Here's my visual hurricane.”

I'M NOT OK WITH THIS“Netflix, with the bag of Doritos and trash food, getting fat. There’s an actual Netflix show called ‘I Am Not Okay With This.’ We are running out of content to watch and some have gotten on Tik-Tok due to boredom and we have all suddenly learned silly dances. We are up all night, watching this. Guess what? Nobody is okay with this. It’s okay not to be okay with it.”

WE CAN DO IT“The all-American Rosie the Riveter. We can Do it. Trump did say ‘the disinfectant knocks it out in a minute.’ People would do anything for a cure. Clorox? Have we lost our fucking mind? This is the American way: we can do it! Bleach kills everything, even yourself. Read the back of the bottle, genius.”

SHELTERS “That’s my dog, just got him, right before this started. I’m really grateful to have a companion. But some people were scared that pets would transmit coronavirus. Some people are disinfecting everything with Lysol but also abandoning their pets. The poor animals didn’t sign up for this stupidity.”

QUEEN OF TOILET PAPER“It became a war for essentials. Everyone was Khaleesi. Game of Thrones, but it’s people hoarding out toilet paper. And now it’s available. Is Netflix streaming this epic of survival? An essential item to wipe your ass becomes a precious object — TP is the new crown jewels. Royalty is access to toilet paper.”

KEEP THE HANDSHAKE GOING“Another slogan from actual advertising, ripe for transformational parody. Dial, wash your hand. People keeping the handshake going? That’s not a thing. Shouldn’t be a thing. Really, keep the handshake going? Nobody is touching me! Get away! The soap ads are ‘Fresh and clean.’ Yeah, you always should be, not just because of COVID. And keeping the handshake going is not an option right now.”

9X SANITIZING STRENGTH“Purell: it’s in your purse, in your car. It’s everywhere. The beauty industry has long been tone-deaf by not hiring African Americans and models of color. The foam is covering their ears. The beauty industry is also having to sanitize its prejudice. People have said that’s not ok, you gotta start hiring people in the BIPOC community. Show diversity. All kinds of shades. Thanks for listening.”

CAUTION: RESTRICTED AREA“They tell us: ‘Get tested!’ but where are the tests? The lack of testing feels like imprisonment. These q-tips —they go up your nose, your mouth, ears as well. Why do people feel violated? But, seriously, get tested! Symptoms or no-symptoms. None of this is ‘comfortable.’ Nobody is ‘comfortable’ in a pandemic unless you’re in the 1% and you have a huge mansion. Yes — get tested. For yourself and everybody else.”